How to Follow Up After an Au Pair Video Call
A good follow-up helps both sides move from a friendly conversation to a clearer decision. It is the best moment to clarify expectations, ask remaining questions and check whether the values match still feels right.
Do not rely only on your first impression
First calls can feel positive and still leave important details unclear. A thoughtful follow-up helps host families and au pairs avoid assumptions before matching.
Write down what felt clear
Soon after the call, write down the practical details that felt clear. This helps separate the warm feeling of the conversation from what was actually discussed.
- What did we learn about daily life?
- Which expectations were explained clearly?
- What did we learn about children, routines or family rhythm?
Write down what still feels unclear
Unclear does not always mean bad. It simply means something needs a follow-up before anyone makes a decision.
- Which answer still feels too vague?
- What did we forget to ask?
- What practical detail would make the decision easier?
Follow up with specific questions
A good follow-up message is kind, short and specific. Avoid sending a long list of doubts. Choose the most important points first.
- Can we clarify what a normal weekday would look like?
- Can we talk a little more about privacy and free time?
- Can we check what light household tasks would mean in practice?
- Can we discuss how feedback would work during the first weeks?
Check values match again
After the call, think about whether values felt aligned. This includes parenting style, communication, reliability, flexibility, independence, privacy and family involvement.
- Did the communication style feel comfortable?
- Did both sides talk openly about difficult moments?
- Did expectations around privacy and family involvement feel aligned?
- Did reliability and flexibility seem to mean the same thing to both sides?
Suggest a clear next step
Do not leave the match floating. If both sides want to continue, agree on what happens next. If one side needs time, say that clearly and kindly.
- Should we plan a second call?
- Should we exchange a few follow-up answers first?
- When will each side think and respond?
- What would need to be clear before saying yes?
Use your notes before deciding
If you used the video call notes template, review it before sending a final yes. Look especially at what still feels unclear.
Open the notes template →Also useful
Au Pair Matching Guide
Browse all matching preparation resources in one place, from profiles and video calls to questions, red flags and the starter pack.
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What to discuss before saying yes to a match
Make sure the important practical topics are clear before deciding.
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How to know if an au pair match feels right
Use the follow-up to check whether the match feels calm and clear.
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