How Au Pairs Can Prepare for the First Host Family Video Call

A first video call is your chance to understand what life with a host family may actually feel like. It helps you check the children, routines, role, privacy, communication and values match before you decide whether to continue.

Do not only prepare answers — prepare your own questions

Many au pairs focus on making a good impression. That matters, but the call is also for you. You are allowed to ask clear, practical questions about daily life, the children, your role and how the family communicates.

Understand what daily life would feel like

A friendly call is important, but you also need to understand what your days may actually look like. Ask about mornings, school runs, meals, activities, quiet time, evenings and weekends.

What would a normal weekday look like for me?
Which moments of the day usually need the most help?
Which tasks happen every day, and which only sometimes?

Ask about the children

You are not only matching with parents. You are also joining the daily rhythm of the children. Try to understand their personalities, routines, favourite activities and what helps them when things are hard.

What are the children like when they are tired or upset?
What do they enjoy doing after school or on weekends?
Which routines help them feel calm and safe?

Check the role clearly

Do not rely on vague words like helping out or light tasks. Ask what those words mean in this family. Clear expectations help prevent misunderstandings later.

Which tasks would be expected from me?
Which tasks are not part of the role?
Would I need to cycle, cook, swim, drive or use public transport with the children?
What should I do if I am unsure about something during the day?

Talk about privacy and family life

Living with a host family can feel warm and special, but you also need time to rest. A good match gives space for both family involvement and privacy.

Do you usually eat dinner together or separately?
How much family time do you normally expect?
What are evenings and weekends usually like?
How do you make sure the au pair also has private time?

Check values match

A good match is not only about tasks or schedules. Values matter. Parenting style, communication, reliability, flexibility, privacy and independence can make daily life feel either natural or difficult.

What values are most important in your family?
How do you usually communicate when something feels unclear?
What does respect, reliability and flexibility mean in your home?
How do you handle misunderstandings or small conflicts?

Prepare your own answers too

The first video call is not only about asking questions. Host families will also want to understand who you are, what you are looking for and how you would respond in real situations with children. Preparing a few honest answers helps you sound clear, calm and confident.

How would I describe who I am in a warm and natural way?
Why do I want to become an au pair, and what am I hoping to learn?
What kind of host family rhythm would feel good to me?
What are my wishes around privacy, free time, family involvement and communication?
What do I expect from a host family during the first weeks?
Can I describe a difficult situation I had with a child and how I handled it?
If I have not experienced that situation before, how would I respond if a child was upset, refusing to listen or testing boundaries?

Notice how the conversation feels

The first call is also about how you feel during the conversation. Do you feel comfortable asking questions? Do the answers sound clear? Are expectations realistic? A warm call should still leave room for honesty.

Did I feel comfortable asking practical questions?
Did anything feel vague or rushed?
What do I still need to ask before deciding?

First Video Call Notes Template

Use the printable notes template during or after the first call. It helps you write down what was discussed, what still feels unclear and whether the family’s values and daily rhythm feel like a good fit.

Open the notes template →